Shakira’s Breakup Song Roasts Her Ex. Does a Divorce Have To Be a Fight?

Malvina Peci, an Associate and specialist Family Lawyer in our Family Law department here at GoodLaw Solicitors asks the question: does every divorce have to be a fight? She looks at Shakira’s breakup song where she roasts her ex in public and questions whether it is entirely necessary to have a messy divorce.

Shakira recently blessed us with a musical interpretation of current events, that is catchily titled “BZRP Music Session #53,” and is packed with inventive jabs at her ex-partner, Spanish soccer player Gerard Pique, and it’s so popular it broke a YouTube record within 24 hours of its release.

The song also addressed Shakira’s looming tax-fraud trial, where Spanish prosecutors have charged her for failing to pay $16 million worth of income tax while allegedly living in Barcelona between 2012 and 2014. Shakira has adamantly denied she owes the Spanish government any money (she claims her residence was in the Bahamas during the years in question), though it’s clear from “BZRP Music Session #53” that she has more to say on the matter. 

The most vindictive gems about her ex-husband translated from the Spanish lyrics are below;

Sorry, baby, I should have thrown you out a while ago

I was out of your league and that’s why you’re with someone just like you

You left me with my mother-in-law as a neighbour, with the press at my door, and in debt with the government

You thought you hurt me, but you made me stronger

Women don’t cry anymore, they cash in

You traded a Ferrari for a Twingo

You traded a Rolex for a Casio

Lots of time at the gym, but your brain needs a little work too

Ouch. In the days following the track’s release, Pique has tried to use it to his advantage, wearing a Casio watch and giving the brand a shoutout during a King’s League streaming event. On Saturday, he rolled up to work in a Twingo for a social media stunt. Though it hasn’t been confirmed, reports claim that she set up a skeleton witch on the balcony of her home, facing the home of Pique’s mother, and had her new song blasting on repeat.

Meanwhile, Shakira celebrated the song’s success on social media, dedicating it “to all the women teaching me how to make sweet lemonade when life gives you those sour lemons.” In a separate post, she described the song as “a catharsis,” adding, “I want to embrace the millions of women who rise up to the ones who make us feel insignificant.

On top of being a renowned musician and dancer, Shakira is a multilingual, queen of the Super Bowl halftime show, and an excellent dancer. This is to say, she commits hard to everything she does include, it seems, roasting her ex-partner in song.

Shakira and Piqué met during the 2010 World Cup, where she performed that year’s incredible World Cup theme song, “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa).” They have two children, Milan (9) and Sasha (7). Last June, they announced they were splitting up, followed shortly by tabloid reports that the 35-year-old Piqué was now in a relationship with a 23-year-old PR student who worked at his entertainment-production company, and that Shakira was not thrilled about it

Does a divorce have to be a fight though?

As a Family Lawyer, I have learnt that how one starts the process can dictate the whole tenor of the future of your divorce or separation. So here are our top ten tips for an amicable divorce and top ten tips for trying to protect the children along the way. 

1. Reactive decisions are usually bad ones

One of the key messages that we can give is that seeking legal advice and information early on makes separating couples more likely to understand their rights and responsibilities, and to seek alternatives to court.

Early legal advice is a crucial part of the solution to the overwhelmed court system and can help to reduce the potential for conflict between separating couples further down the line.

As well as being emotionally charged, the ending of a personal relationship usually brings with it significant financial repercussions. Making good decisions requires getting good advice from the right people. Invest in an early meeting with a family law specialist to find out your rights and obligations, and to get an idea of what the post-separation landscape might look like. Getting informed will give you a greater sense of control and will help you to set off on the right footing.

Except where urgent action is required (for instance, for the personal safety of one of the parties to a divorce or of a child, or to protect assets from being dissipated), the divorce process itself is often best addressed as a conclusion to arrangements that are already agreed and to which the parties have had a chance to adjust psychologically. 

2. Try to be rational and objective

Going through a separation is highly emotional, but try to put that emotion to one side and sit down around a table with a neutral party with the aim of making sensible decisions. Remember that you loved the other person once. There must have been a reason – focus on this, not the hurt.

You can and should take legal advice at any point in the process to help you make informed decisions; but the best agreements are those reached by the parties, have identified what matters most to them and their families. Where you have been able to reach an agreement between yourselves, it’s possible to instruct a specialist family lawyer on an “implementation only” basis to document it for you. Each party should take separate legal advice before signing any such agreement, but in the right circumstances, it can be significantly cheaper than lawyer-led negotiations.

3. Decide on your priorities

More often than not one of the biggest priorities is to move on with your life with your dignity and sanity intact. The more amicable the divorce the quicker it will be over, leaving you to move on with the next chapter of your life. It is also a lot cheaper. 

Read more: How to Tell your Children About Divorce

4. Be child-centric

Put the needs of your children first. Before communicating to any minor children your decision to separate or divorce, give very careful consideration to what that will mean for them in terms of where they will live and how much time they will spend with each parent.

The law supports the notion that parents are best placed to decide what is right for their children. Sometimes, however, it can be difficult to agree on those arrangements when your relationship with the other parent has become strained or emotionally charged. Think about using a family therapist or mediator to help you to think things through. Have a look at Resolution’s excellent resource Parenting Through Separation. And project forward 10 or 20 years.  What would you like your – by then adult – children to say if asked how they felt about their parents’ divorce?

5. Go to a good Family Lawyer

Are both you and your spouse or partner ready, emotionally, to work constructively together to mitigate the fall-out for yourselves and those around you; or views already entrenched and polarised?

Equally important is finding the right “fit” with the professionals who will be guiding you through whichever process you elect. A good lawyer will also signpost you to their network of highly skilled therapists, medical experts, accountants and financial advisers, all of whom have a role to play. Enabling those professionals to speak to each other about your case will help them to deliver the best in terms of client care.

Find a family specialist committed to working out solutions as amicably as possible and in a way that will preserve your relationship with your spouse. Most will offer also an initial phone call free of charge to scope out what is required.

6. Expect changes in your lifestyle

Your life is going to change, it is the surprise of this that can often lead to resentment and breed conflict. Your partner’s life will be changing too and they will be having the same problems adjusting as you are. Yes really.

7. Do not do it the celebrity way

Every week there seems to be another celebrity couple fighting out a nasty divorce in the media. You do not have to fight dirty to get the best result – in fact, in reality, judges will frown upon it when making their settlement.

8. Do not listen to your friends

Let your friends support you, but choose who you listen to wisely. Remember, every case is different. One person’s experience of divorce is very unlikely to be the same as another’s, as circumstances, commitments and financial arrangements will differ from family to family. Just because friends think it is a good idea, does not mean it is.

9. Be the bigger person

Divorce is expensive emotionally and financially. Breaking a dynamic that has characterised a relationship for years can be difficult, but ask yourself: is what I am arguing about going to make any real difference to the outcome? Will it make any difference in 10 years time if I “win” this particular point? If the answer is “no” – let it go!

Whilst some issues may seem important at the time, such as which of us will accompany our son on his first school trip? Who will keep the cutlery set gifted to us at our wedding? In years to come they may fade into insignificance. Repeatedly raising minor issues will also raise the temperature in correspondence and your legal costs, and will distract from the main issues

Even if your soon-to-be ex-partner is attempting to play dirty, do not rise to the bait. It is easier said than done of course, but I often hear from people who years later regret that they allowed themselves to get lowered to that level.

10. Think about the possibility of divorce before you get married

Think about what your situation will be if things do not work out and how you think the other person is likely to behave in those circumstances as well. Consider a prenuptial agreement (prior to marriage) or a post-nuptial agreement (after marriage). Realism does not have to be anti-romantic.

Divorce undoubtedly will affect children. Some of the questions you may have are; how do we explain to children we are separating? And how do we stop children from becoming casualties of our divorce?

There are various things to consider if you need to tell your children you are separating, we highlight some of these in our next article.

How can we help

All the Family Lawyers at GoodLaw Solicitors are members of Resolution, an organisation of over 6,500 professionals promoting a non-confrontational approach to resolving family issues. As members, we adhere to Resolution’s Code of Practice, which promotes a constructive approach to family disputes and considers the needs of the whole family, in particular the best interests of children. We are committed to supporting our clients in ways that are best suited to them and their individual circumstances; and are fully behind Resolution’s campaign to encourage greater use of out-of-court options, where appropriate.

We pride ourselves on being sensitive to your needs whilst working to assist your transition into the next chapter of your life. If you are looking for a family law solicitor in Brighton, Hove, Hassocks or Farnham to help you through the process of your divorce, financial matters and children matters, please contact the family team at 01273 956 270 or email: family@goodlawsolicitors.co.uk